When a person is young and has a family it seems that the children (if paid attention to) add the necessary ingredient for a well rounded life. And once the children are grown and gone there aren’t many other things to fill that gap other than pets and certain friends.
We had some of these friends over the other day. We had a great time remembering funny stories, telling jokes and discussing future aspirations. It was a very pleasing day.
And then there are those friends that are off the wall funny and very creative as well. On a visit to the home of one such friend, I got to her porch and through the screen door I could see her laying on the couch. She was reading and using a pair of salad tongs to hold her paperback far enough away so she could see the words – that was years ago, she has since turned to using drug store cheaters.
I feel very lucky to count family as friends. If you have numerous relatives (which I do) who enjoy the same type of humor that you enjoy, you’re very fortunate…now that I think about it, I believe that all of my family members share the same brand of humor, some to a bigger degree than others but still it’s the same – and believe me the things we laugh at can be pretty bizarre. Case in point: there was the time one family member decided the kids’ bedrooms needed a good cleaning: fresh start and all that stuff. The children helped her box up old toys and clothes that no longer fit and in parade fashion marched the bags and boxes down to the alley where it was a certainty that those in need would find them and haul the stuff off.
The cleaning job had taken all morning and the mom had just sat down to recuperate when her teenaged daughter began to yell.
“Hey! Where are my books for school? My books are gone,” she wailed.
The mom ran to the window and looked down to the alley. Sure enough an older, rather small, bag lady was dragging off one of the big trash bags. Slung over her arm was the familiar backpack bulging with the daughter’s school books.
Followed by her brood, the mother rushed down to the alley.
“Just a minute,” she called out, and the bag lady picked up speed. But being beyond her running years she didn’t get very far before the mother caught up.
“You can keep all of the other stuff,” the mom explained, “but I need the backpack; it has my daughter’s books in it.”
The bag lady waved her off and pretending she didn’t speak English, tried to hurry away.
“Wait!” the mother exclaimed, easily stepping in front of the little woman. Pointing at the backpack she said very distinctly, “I need this back. It was put out by mistake. My daughter’s school books are in there.”
With the trash bag slung over one shoulder, and the backpack hanging off the other, the bag lady once again tried to escape.
“Stop,” the mother shouted and grabbed the strap of the backpack.
“That’s mine!” the bag lady yelled (minus even the hint of an accent).
Being younger, the mom’s reaction time was much better and she pulled the backpack away and started back down the alley with it.
The kids, who’d been silent observers, started to yell and point behind her.
Before the mother had a chance to turn around the bag lady jumped on her back.
Afraid of hurting the older woman by trying to push her off, the mother did the only thing she could think of: she began to rotate (going only as fast as is possible when an adult is riding piggy back). She whirled one way and then the other but the bag lady was stuck like glue. Even with the children cheering her on, the mom couldn’t dislodge the bag lady or win the battle for the backpack…until a police car showed up (summoned by a neighbor, who, from an apartment window, had been watching the entire event, and called 911).
Upon hearing the burp of the siren, the mother came to a dizzy standstill and the bag lady slowly slid off, popping several buttons from the mom’s blouse, which in turn displayed her bra for all to see, causing the teenage daughter to yell with embarrassment, “Mom!” before rushing upstairs and locking herself in the house.
With the police in attendance the squabble was quickly straightened out; the mom got the backpack, the bag lady got the bag of discards (which left her grumbling that she should have gotten the backpack, too).
Oh gosh, did we laugh about that one – and in fact we still do!
FACT OR FIB – you be the judge.
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